330# ; IF AND ONLY IF.
Posted on Saturday, December 4, 2010 @ 3:10 AM < 0 cheonsa >
How do I put this. Isn't it so selfish of me to plead and beg for my happiness when the persons that I love had to suffer for it. And isn't it so stupid of me to sacrifice the only thing that I cling on for letting the persons that I love to be happy.
I'm feeling baffled and now I know how much I need of a comrade to fight with me and always be there for me. How I wish I could turn the clock and have him back. I need him and I never missed anyone nor anything so much in my life the way I missed him. It's nothing like losing a boyfriend over a stupid puppy love. Losing someone bonded to me and the one that had always made my childhood days better.
If he's still around, he would be nineteen.
If he's still around, he would stand there protecting me.
If he's still around, he would fight for me when I'm right.
If he's still around, he would crack jokes and made my cheek weakened by laughters.
If he's still around, he would tell me it's okay and everything will be all right.
If he's still around, he would let me be friend with his bunch of his silly boyfriends.
If he's still around, he would charm me with his silly grin.
If he's still around, he would pick tons of fight with me over stupid little things.
If he's still around, he would be so tall and handsome and made me proud of him.
If he's still around, he would anger me every now and then which I missed the most.
If he's still around, he would load his DVD shelf with wrestling DVDs.
If he's still around, he would made me listen to his favorite sloppy love songs.
If he's still around, he would let me win whenever we play games.
If he's still around, he would understand me better than anyone else.
If he's still around, he would not be in this entry.
and if only he's still around, he would be the place for me to run to and never refute me.
the one and only one; my beloved late brother.
My annoying, picky, sleepyhead and silly big brother.
The qualities in him that I never thought of missing and craving for them.
Hey abang, know what, I missed it when you press your cheek outward by your tongue whenever you're being so shiok playing games in computer. Although I would stare at you in disgust and urge you to stop doing so. But only now that I knew how much that habit of yours made you who you are. Love and prayers for you.
Listening to : FANTASY || ERIKA
Labels: emotion
